Chapter XXVI: I Am Who I Am

Continuing along the same thought process as last week, I'm still impressed by God's work in my life. This past week I've really recognized who God has made me to be, and I must admit, I really like it.

The past two weeks have really encouraged me as I have been feeling overwhelmed with my current situation. Last week God reminded me of His constant support and showed me His affection, and this week He remdinded me that I was created perfectly for this time and place.

Without sounding to egocentric, I really love the man God has turned me into. Over the years, He has carefully groomed me for this ministry, and it's awesome to see it all tie together. I recently ate lunch with an old friend, and while talking with her, I realized that this really is what I do now.

Hard to believe that I really am a youth pastor.

This week was fairly ordinary (climbing, music, swing dance, etc.), but it had a different feel. Especially towards the end of the week, I started seeing all the ways that I am starting to build deeper relationships. Make positive changes in the our congregation. Even recognizing my impact on the community.

Again, I apologize for the narcissism, but I really appreciate all that God has made me to be. As I walked through the woods this weekend taking pictures, I began to grasp how awesome God has been to me. I thought about who I used to be and who God has made me. Psalm 139 reads:

"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Please continue to pray for my grandma as she is still determined to glorify God despite her health. I also ask that you pray for our high school students as we attend our winter retreat this weekend.

I'd like to leave you with this thought...God has created each of us with a unique purpose and an equally unique set of traits to match that purpose. So my advice...be who you are and recognize that you can't be someone else, because being someone else is like changing God's masterpiece.

Just me,
-B

Chapter XXV: Chocolate Bar

Part of the reason that David the Stud (son of Jesse) was so well remembered was because God touched everything David did. This week I felt like David.

Not because I was a stud.

But because the LORD has really been blessing me this week. His hand is visible in the projects I've been working on. In my work with the youth ministry and worship services. Even in my relationships with others. Not because of anything I did, but simply because He loves me.

Like an unexpected note of encouragement.

One of the biggest things that He's blessing is the band we recently started, Misfit Plaid. We got together for our first practice on Monday night, and not only was it fun, but we sounded good. The guys are all awesome and we all share a passion to serve the LORD. This band is meant to be used as a ministry, and the LORD is doing just that! By Thursday, we had our first gig booked! A complete stranger asked us to play at a benefit concert in February, and we're really excited to start being a positive influence in a negative world.

The LORD also blessed our worship service yesterday. This Sunday, we tried out one of our first experimental services, and it went really well. We had a few glitches of course, but nothing that can't be worked out with time and practice. It was really awesome to see the way that the LORD used so many people and so many gifts together in one service.

Even the little things were touched by God this week. A new climbing route that I conquered. A good conversation with a student. Tasty leftovers from a church meal. Surprise visits from friends. A little heart in my Happy Fun Mail bag. Even a couple good rounds of Call of Duty.

This week came with trials as well. In the past few days, my grandma's health has rapidly declined and it seems as though she'll pass within the next few days. Obviously, your prayers for my family would be greatly appreciated, but especially for my grandfather.

While this was tough news to hear, it came with a blessing (like most bad things do). The morning after I heard about this, I recieved the best blessing of my week.

A chocolate bar.

Sounds simple, but nothing could be more elegant. It's like God was saying; "Hey Brian. Keep up the good work. I love you." Afer feeling a little burnt out, God sent me this edible pick-me-up. All of His other blessings this week were great, but this really showed me God's love. It reminded me that God's love isn't about success. It's not about being fortunate. It's not about blessings of any kind.

It's about His unconditional love for me. That's His blessing. He loves me. And that's all I need.

A beloved Child of God,
-B

Chapter XXIV: Coffee and Bananas

First update of 2011...Thus far, my year has gone pretty well. But let's focus on the past few days shall we?

It felt good to be back home and spend the week doing the ministry that I love. As the schools were still on break, I got to spend time playing Call of Duty and Halo with my students. When combined with various breakfasts I shared with students, this week was well spent building relationships and having fun. Oh and I got a new coffee mug and cleaned up the coffee maker, so now I can drink it every morning.

I messed up my hand early last week and it miraculously healed very well in just a few days (so I didn't have to miss too much climbing). It made me realize how fortunate I am that my body works well and I should celebrate my youthfulness while it lasts. As part of that realization, I have made an effort to be a little healthier.

Hence the bananas.

With a new year comes a new start. After a great New Years celebration with some of my closest friends, I decided that I need to start taking care of myself a little better. SO...I'm getting more sleep, taking vitamins, and eating a banana for breakfast every day (my mom is so proud).

Our church enjoyed the lull of winter break, but it's definitely time to resume Sunday School, classes, dinners, and events. Our church is also beginning a month of experimental worship services that will help lead us to God's will for our church's worship. We are also looking forward to our winter retreat. To be honest, I'm a little stressed already, but it will be fun. I have a tendency to worry about details and legistics, so please pray for peace of mind for me.

That's not my only source of stress however. I find myself worrying about next week's worship service. Games for our middle school. Drivers for the next event. The problem is that I'm still putting too much of myself into ministry and not letting God flow through me. I'm seeking strength from myself and not God.

But I'm working on it.

I'm still loving my life and work here in Michigan, I just need to get better at letting God sustain me. I need to drink the Living Water. Because let's face it, nobody gets very far on bananas and coffee.

Starting fresh,
-B

Chapter XXIII: Dear Michigan

I know...a day late...I'm sure this is hard to handle given my amazing track record of punctual updates. (This was a day late when I wrote it, but apparently it didn't publish right away).

The funny thing about this post is that instead of an update for Illinois from Michigan, it's for my Michigander family from Illinois....Props to those of you who understood that.

SO...for those of you Michiganders...

Christmas vacation for me meant visiting my family and friends from my hometown of Rockford, Illinois. While I hate the city itself, the people I spent my week with are pretty awesome. I got to swing dance, ice fish, rock out, shop, play video games, and eat.

Lots of eating.

And the best part is the cooler full of leftovers I was sent back with.

My favorite part was the visiting with old family and friends...Some of whom I hadn't seen for 2 or 3 years. It's amazing how much more drastic change seems to be when you see it all at once instead of a year long process. Most of my friends and family seem to change so much every time I see them, and I wonder if I change just as much throughout the year.

Not a whole lot of meat or potatoes to this update (I ate most of those over the weekend), so I'll leave the Michiganders in my life with this thought...

Illinois as more snow than you. And a better NFL team....Ouch.

Writing from home to home,
-B

Chapter XXII:Closing Time

The parting of the Red Sea. Healing of Sick. Military victories. Creation. The Resurrection. The LORD has done some miraculous things. His latest?

Getting me through my first semester as a youth pastor.

My new church family accepted me as both a friend and leader. They have made west Michigan feel like home. And they've fed me quite a lot of food. Basically, most of the LORD's support throughout the semester came from their hands, calls, cards, cookies, and kitchens.

As this past week progressed, I wished "Merry Christmas" to many of my students and friends as we all scattered for Winter Break. As we gathered for one last class/meeting/meal/game for the semester, one could feel a heightened sense of energy from everybody. This was most noticeable in the High School students though....especially at last night's Ugly Sweater Party.

This week also saw the Twelve Strings of Christmas. This benefit concert hosted by myself, John, and Amy (she made cookies...lots of cookies) was attended by roughly 30 people and raised over 60 dollars for ACCESS Food Pantry. The music was decent and the show was really fun. John and I had a blast putting it together and look forward to a repeat next year. But our show was definitely upstaged by another group this weekend;

The Olivet Children's Christmas program.

During our service yesterday, the little kids (with some help) told the Christmas story. In addition to being absurdly cute and hilarious, the program served as an awesome reminder to our congregation that we are a family. It was awesome to see different age groups come together to lay our worship at the feet of the King.

Looking ahead, I'll be heading back to Northern Illinois for the holidays. It'll be great to see my family. Especially my little brother and dog since I haven't seen them in 6 months. I am excited for a few days away from work and the opportunity to recharge my batteries. I ask for your prayers for travel as many people are heading home for the holidays.

It's been a great five months in Michigan, and I look forward to more. This semester was a blast and we all learned a lot about our faith as well as each other. But this semester is over. And while it's closing time for this half of the school year, the next half looks even brighter!

Grateful for the past,
-B

PS This week's picture isn't mine. Credit goes to the talented Katie Groeneveld for the photography

Chapter XXI: Iowa

My apologies for a late blog update. In addition to a lack of motivation, I struggled to find a way to describe the past week. It was an average week, not great but not bad, and that's why it was an Iowa Week.

For those of you who have driven from the mid-west out to Colorado or someplace awesome, you know there's one thing you have to do first. Drive through Iowa. The corn-filled state of Iowa isn't horrible, but it's not great. It's just something you have to get through.

And that's how my week was.

It was a decent week who's sole purpose was to be a stepping stone for the week after it. There wasn't much special about this past week. It just had to happen so that we could get to the next one.

The weekend was fun in the sense that it was literally filled with nothing but climbing, Halo Reach, and burgers.

Lots of burgers.

You see, we (Andy and myself) love burgers. We wanted to find the best recipe. So 5 lbs of beef, 16 burgers, and 8 different recipes later, we were full of both meat and knowledge. Over the course of the weekend, we tried out unique burger ideas such as nacho, pizza, and chili. After an intense tasting and rating process, we found a winner. The Teriyaki Burger.

If you want the recipe, I'd be glad to share.

I'd also like to share something I've been struggling with for the past week or two. As mentioned above, I'm feeling a lack of motivation. I'm growing weary of the same schedule. Basically, I'm facing the early warning signs of burn-out. Part of the problem comes from self reliance. I am working to seek my strength from God and not myself. I am working to let God work through me instead of me working for God. I am working on letting God drive through Iowa.

Bored with corn,
-B

Chapter XX: Has It Really Been 20 Weeks?

The last time I wrote you, there was no snow on the ground. Unfortunately, there still isn't much on the ground. Michigan has thus far been a disappointment in the snow department. So much for the intense "lake effect snow"....

I'm really starting to get into the Christmas spirit. The combination of snow, advent liturgies, and Christmas music has really put me into a holiday mood. As a result...I have invested a fair amount of time and money into decorating my house...FALSE. I show my Christmas cheer through music. Our church went caroling on Friday, and believe it or not, it was my first caroling experience...I've also been doing a lot of arranging of Christmas songs. In preparation for our benefit concert in a few weeks, I have been putting together a lot of music.

For some reason, it already feels like December is nearly over. Christmas is quickly approaching, and as usual, I haven't even started my shopping. Looks like another year of heading out a day or two before Christmas to find presents for my family. Why does it always seem that something as joyful as gift giving turns into a stressful habit? Perhaps a year without Christmas presents might do us all good.

In other news, we brought on the final member of our new band, Misfit Plaid and will begin practicing in January. I also took second place in the intermediate division at a climbing competition this weekend. And I also think I'm getting the hang of lindy-hop (type of swing dance).

Even better news: Our church officially has an interim pastor who will begin working part time this week. I'm very thankful for the work that he's going to put in here, but I'm even more thankful for somebody to be here to back me up on some of my decisions.

That's really about all there was to last week...To be honest, I don't really have a whole lot of motivation right now to do much, so I'll just ask for your continued prayers for our church and call it a day...

Time flies,
-B